I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.
(C.S. Lewis)
What is hurting you so badly that you can’t even talk about it?
Has that happened to you before? Most of us would have encountered at one time or another, some hurtful issues that have wounded us so deeply that we find it difficult to talk about. We have suppressed them, hoping that ‘out of sight, is out of mind’. Unfortunately, they seldom lie quietly hidden.
It is also not uncommon to hear of stories of people suddenly facing some deep emotional breakdown when they get older in age. Most of these issues can be traced back to childhood wounds that were suppressed but re-surfaced later in life.
Childhood wounds run very deep. What’s worse, most of these child-victims don’t even understand why they had suffered at the hands of their adult abusers at the time of their abuse.
Suppression may be nature’s way of helping them cope with their traumatic experiences at the time. However, if not dealt with, these deep wounds can cause irreparable damage to their emotional and mental state, and even their physical bodies.
For those who have gone through traumatic experiences especially in their childhood, they should seek professional help; help to cope with the oppressive thoughts. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Suppressing your emotions for too long, will only hurt you more. Professional counselors will be able to safely guide you through the process of overcoming your grief, which will in turn help you to let go of the hurts. You need to give yourself permission to grief over these hurtful experiences. You are never too young or too old to feel hurt.
If you can’t find a professional you feel comfortable with, find a friend who is a good listener and with whom you feel comfortable sharing with, then pour your heart out to that person.
While releasing these hurtful emotions may seem like revisiting old wounds, or like pouring salt on open sores, being vulnerable and exposed will help with the healing process. In fact, it is the first step to the road of recovery.
Yes, confronting hurtful pasts takes courage, but it is a necessary step towards discovering the root issue. Addressing the source of the problem will help us overcome the painful experience eventually.
Bottling up toxic emotions can really harm your body. So learn to let go and hold on loosely to matters you have no control over. Cultivate a lifestyle of joy. That will put you in a good place and free you from unwarranted worries and anxieties.
Learn to rest and enjoy the peace. Can you hear the birds singing or smell the roses along the pathway?
Artist: Lydia C. Text: Anna G.
Listening at Christmas and Always
A few years after I left my secondary school in Manchester, I was invited to help out with the school’s Christmas Fair and I decided to have a go at being Father Christmas.
I had recently grown my first full beard and thought that I would enter into the role by rubbing flour into my beard. Dare I say it myself, I looked rather splendid and certainly I attracted lots of customers.
I was thoroughly enjoying myself as I was bringing a sense of magic to so many young children. But one young boy caught my eye;I was mystified by him because he paid for a second and then astonishingly for a third visit. As the presents on offer were really quite pitiful, I asked him why he was coming to see me so often. He answered simply:
“I just love talking to you”.
It was then that I realized that oftentimes, parents do not encourage their children to talk to them, nor do they take time to listen to them. This epiphany has remained with me and governed my interactions at home, at work, and with friends. I always encourage family, friends, colleagues to talk about themselves and their feelings and then I make sure to really listen to them.
Author: Roger Darlington
