Being forgiven is like having all the worst bits of yourself stuffed into a balloon and then having that balloon set free.
(Shannon Wiersbitzby)
Free at last! Oh what a beautiful day, you feel like singing. What a liberating feeling. You feel lighter, the weight of heaviness you’ve been carrying for a long time, is no longer there. You feel like you can float like the balloon. You’ve forgotten you had shoulders, they had felt like sacks of flour that you’ve been lugging around for so long.
Your need to take revenge or retaliate is just as burdensome a load. Of course it is easier to talk about forgiveness when you’re not the one doing the forgiving.
Nevertheless, forgiving someone is also setting yourself free from the pain and hurt you’ve been carrying. The heaviness feels like huge boulders placed on each shoulder that has grown over time from a pebble of resentment. Don’t feed that need. It is like a time bomb that will self-destruct one day and leave a huge gaping hole of festering wound that will not even turn into a scab. It drains you and exhausts you.
You lose far more hanging on to it. You force yourself to be happy or to laugh, but you have no peace or joy in your life. Very soon the people around you, especially your loved ones will begin to feel that change in you. They either feel the need to join you or distance themselves from you. You also begin to unconsciously isolate yourself from them. Either way, your pity party doesn’t give you any consolation.
If it becomes that bad, please seek professional help if you have not already done so. It is just not worth it to suffer so much when you’re the victim.
Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. Choosing to forgive does not make the person less guilty or excuses them. They will reap what they sow. You need to move on. Cut off the cord that binds you to that person who needs your forgiveness.
You’re stronger than you think. Draw from that strength and choose to let go. You’ll feel as if you’re the balloon, set free to live again. You deserve to live better, not holding on to bitterness.
It takes a strong person to forgive. You’re stronger than you think you are. You can do it, you can let go. It is just not worth hanging on to that burden.
As Lewis Smedes said,” To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Be free. You deserve it! Your life is far more precious than to get mired in the mud of unforgiveness.
Artist: Lydia C. Text: Anna G.
The Two Brothers and the Carpenter
Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labour and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox.
” I’m looking for a few day’s work,”he said, “perhaps you have a few small jobs here and there I could help you with?”.
“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look at that farm,” he pointed towards the opposite creek, “that’s my neighbour. In fact, he’s my younger brother. Last week, there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the bar? I want you to build me a fence – an 8-foot fence – so I won’t need to see his place anymore. Cool him down anyhow.”
The carpenter said,”I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”
The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing and nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.
There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge – a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work – handrails and all – and the neighbour, his younger brother, came over with his hand outstretched. “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done,” exclaimed the younger man.
The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to se the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
“No wait! Stay a few days, I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.
“I’d love to stay on,” said the carpenter,”but I have many more bridges to build.”
Everyday we have the choice of building fences or bridges. One leads to isolation and the other to openness.
