Change

Acceptance / Change / Courage

Journaling your life’s stories

We can only open our hearts to those we utterly trust, such as the accepting page. (Gille Bolton) With the arrival of the new year, what  reflections do you have on the year that has just passed? Do you like most people, wish that you could have had more, done more or said more? Why don't you instead say "I have enough?" So what do I mean? I'm talking about learning to be content. Now, I'm not talking about accepting your lot in life in a fatalistic 'what will be will be, will be' way, but rather having a self-assured and confident, "I've enough" kind of mindset.  And the best way to reflect on the past year is through journaling. As you leaf through what you have written, you will notice that there were moments of  uplifting and happy, interwoven with the discouraging and sad. So life is not all bad, but neither is…

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January 21, 2022

Change / Thrift

Broken to be shared…

My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat.(Leo Tolstoy) Wouldn't it be an amazing world if everyone lived to look out for one another?  I believe this is not wishful thinking but is a behavior that can be learnt. This is because sharing is not dependent on how much you have, but on how willing you are to give. We can all learn to share what we have, even when what we have isn't much.  You see, we don't need to have a lot, before we can make a decision to share what we have with others.  In fact, if we don't start sharing when we don't have much, it becomes a lot  harder to share when we have plenty left over. And that's the strange irony of human behavior.   For some people, however, sharing…

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September 19, 2021

Change / Courage / Hope

It’s familiar, is it safe?

Sometimes, it takes more courage to keep moving forward even away from what's familiar.  (Anna G.) Are you clinging onto something familiar? Do you believe that it's better to be safe than sorry? Is the familiar always safer? You're scared, so filled with fear and doubt. You look around desperately for something familiar to cling onto. Even if it is an abusive relationship, where what's good in it is long past. Are you looking for a way out? Sometimes it's found in the way forward.  So don't keep looking back.  While whatever is ahead may be uncertain and feel unfamiliar, but as long as you are still alive, there is hope. Don't give up!Have you discovered the purpose you're here on earth for?  You never really know what you are truly capable of. That's why, all the more, you need to take the time to look for the answer.  That's what you do when you're playing a…

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July 28, 2021

Change / Courage

What’s on the other side of fear?

Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. (George Adain) Why do you allow fear to rob you of even trying?  Don't let a wrong belief of something or someone hold you down.  Sometimes we give so much permission to our fears that they become bigger than our reality.  Even if the truth is staring us in our face, fear tells us otherwise. Even if what what we fear most, didn't actually happen, we are still riddled with anxiety and there is no peace. Even if someone else tells us that what we fear is not going to happen, we don't believe them and we allow ourselves to fear the worst.  It's like we are anticipating the worst to prove that we're right.That's Fear. That's not Truth.You see, it takes courage to be vulnerable and to try again. And it takes more courage to rid ourselves of our…

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July 17, 2021

Acceptance / Change / Courage / Hope

Whose shoes are you wearing?

When you spend all your time imagining yourself in other people's shoes, your own story goes unwritten, and there is nothing more painful than that. (Amanda Lovelace) Don't you sometimes wish you were someone else? Especially when you see the lifestyles of the rich and famous flaunting their wealth, or undeserving people getting away with 'murder' Unbelievable! How is it that we live in the same world?  It shouldn't matter! Everyone, even the rich and famous, struggle with challenges and anxieties. Everyone on earth has a burden he or she is carrying.  If you can actually read the mind of these people, you may even think you're better off being yourself.   What we see on the external, does not tell the whole story.  So don't desire to be in the shoes of others!  You never know what is seething beneath the veneer of "all's fine and great".  They may need…

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May 31, 2021

Change / Courage

Slow down…to go fast!

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress. (Viggo Mortensen) Life is unexpected isn't it?  It is already year 2021.  It's been more than a year since the COVID-19 pandemic appeared in the world in December 2019.  Covid-19 caused the whole world to standstill in 2020. Worse, it didn't go away as fast as everyone expected. & now the new normal is far from normal.   Pre-COVID activities such as walking, shopping and meeting up with friends look very different these days, because of the many restrictions imposed. In many countries,  wearing a mask is mandatory outside of…

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May 19, 2021

Change / Courage / Healing

Broken?

You will not heal by going back to what broke you.                          (Unknown) When you're feeling broken, you tend to retreat to the familiar; the people, places and  routines that define you. But that's not necessarily the best thing for you. Your world has collapsed, you're hurting and can't figure out how to get out of the mess you're in. You feel like you don't matter. That's not true! Don't give in to these toxic emotions. Your life is not defined by the people who hurt you, or by the harmful situations you find yourself in.Get out of these negative patterns of behavior. Take the first step by acknowledging that the things that are happening to you are not good for you.  Then reflect and try to figure out why does it keep happening to you; Whether it's a slip up at…

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March 14, 2021

Change / Courage

Fight or flight?

Its first instinct when feeling threatened is to place nails at its feet.(Anna G) I'm not afraid... but... but I'm afraid. I shouldn't have left the cage. What am I going to do? I'm feeling very vulnerable right now. Let's get some protection.  Nails... I saw nails... that will do. But I must not step on them. I won't or I'll end up getting hurt.Or, I'm sick of being stepped on. I've had enough! I'm going to protect myself from now on.Is this the kind of self-talk that goes on in your mind when you have been at the receiving end of repeated betrayal, backstabbing and bullying?  You want to fight back but you're also afraid of the consequences. So you try to retaliate.  But your weapon of choice, in this case, is a bed of nails.  It can hurt an oncoming predator but it can also hurt You!This is…

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March 9, 2021

Change / Courage

Pressed to be perfect…

Pressure from an iron can remove creases but pressure on a person can break or build character. (Anna G.) You feel pressured, pushed, you can't even breathe. What's happening? There is a lot of pressure to be like everyone else but you don't want to be like everyone else, you just want to be YOU. Can't you? Why do you feel like this pressure is killing you? Why can others handle this pressure but why are you struggling so much? Should  you just end it? NO! Remember, who You Are is not tied to what you can achieve. Our inner man wants to be known.  Our identity knows that we are born to be significant. There is a reason for our existence.  Your identity is separate from looking or being perfect. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do well.  But being perfect should never be your goal. No one is perfect and can…

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February 24, 2021

Change

What’s Real?

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours and furniture polish is made from real lemons.     (Alfred E. Newman) Is this real? A world where humans eat fake food and real food is given to pets or used as polish? What do you value? Are you scared? Fearful? Suspicious of others? Is there no one who is sincere? Is everyone fake?  It just breaks you inside. You don't think you have any strength to resist. Who can you believe? Pretending everyday that everything is alright when it's not, leaves you confused and doubtful of who you are. Like the lemon flavor, you're only left with a trail of sour and bitter encounters. You're broken inside and the pain seems never-ending.  Have you been wrong, everyone is wearing these masks that hide their true feelings. What should you believe?  Don't give up on yourself. Like…

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February 20, 2021

Change

Putting down others or yourself?

There is something called the Tall Poppy Syndrome; people like to cut the tall poppies. They don't want you to succeed and they cut you down - especially people from your own social class.Mark Burnett "Life is unfair!  She only made it because someone had her back." Yes, you feel shortchanged sometimes, because when you compare your efforts with others, you come up short, especially when it comes to receiving recognition.  Resentment then builds up over time against the person, your bosses, the person in authority or even the organization itself.  Whether it is a fact or the truth, it does not matter. Giving in to such thoughts is the key issue. Don't follow this line of reasoning; It doesn't bode well nor reflect well on you. If you share it with someone, it is even worse.  Now you're gossiping. How will that help you? Being a "wet blanket" or "cutting down tall poppies"…

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February 1, 2021

Change

Knock, knock… has it finally opened?

In life sometimes ... you have to close some doors to have others open.     (Gene Ween) Knock, knock, who's there? Bee. Bee who? Bee waiting for the door to open.  Do you feel there are some doors in your life you have waited for a lifetime to open? Perhaps you have been too busy trying to get that door opened, rather than checking if there are doors in your life that ought to be closed so that you can prepare yourself for when this door you've been waiting for to finally open. Doors that should be shut can be habits that are bad for your physical, mental or emotional health. You have the choice over these unhealthy habits. It's a vicious cycle and you think you cannot shut that door.  That's a lie. You can get out of these habits if you value your life more than keeping these…

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January 29, 2021

Change

Success is like a wild horse…

Success is like a wild horse.  If you do not know how to handle it, it will throw you off and look for another rider who can handle it well.    Ajith Kumar Yes, I can do it, yes, I can... no I can't! Why can't I? If they can, I can.I'm sure you must have had these thoughts going through your head before. You keep telling yourself you can achieve; "I can, I can, I can", and you sound almost like a 'choo-choo' train.  But the truth is  you can't brainwash yourself into being a success, no matter what successful gurus tell you.This is because merely thinking about success doesn't bring success. Rather you need to take action; you have to do something about it. Determination plays a large part in being successful. But you're not going to get there by just desiring.  You have to truly decide what it is you really want.…

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January 23, 2021

Change

Trap or shelter?

The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be captive of the environment in which you find yourself.     (Mark Caine) Trapped! I can't breathe, oh no there's no way out! Or phew, I finally feel safe!  Two very different reactions to the same situation. Your perception does not need to determine how you respond to your environment. To some, a shelter feels claustrophobic, while to someone else, it's a haven from danger. How you see your situation will reveal your state of mind. Keep calm. Don't panic. Otherwise you're the one who is confining yourself, whether you want to or not. The environment you find yourself doesn't predict your success or failure. Fear is the main culprit that makes one feel trapped and compels another to confine themselves.    How much you give in to fear and allow yourself to be swayed by how you see…

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January 19, 2021

Change

60 Minutes to an Hour, well-used or lost?

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minute an hour. Whatever he does, whoever he is. (C.S. Lewis) The future is just a second ahead of the present, and the past is just the second that has passed. This truth is universal for every person. And 2020 really proved this quote by C.S. Lewis, as the world was caught totally by surprise by the pandemic. Fear gripped every sector of society because we have never experienced anything like this before.  Some who ignored the safety precautions paid with their lives. Young or old, everyone faced to the same threat. Everyone was vulnerable to the Covid-19 virus.As the world went into lockdown, the feeling of 'reality being stranger than fiction' came to mind. We've watched countless movies where newscasters would report about some disaster that was going to inflict the world. But what is happening with Covid 19 is…

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January 17, 2021

Change

Safe but stuck?

The greatest things in life tend to happen outside our comfort zones, and doubting your ability to step outside of your comfort zone will keep you stuck. (Amy Morin) You've played it safe but you're stuck. Maybe there is something out there that is better, but you're not prepared to risk it.  You're filled with doubts about your ability to cope, should you step out of your comfort zone.  What about the next generation? They're different and bound to have different aspirations.  Do you want them to walk this same path as you, when you're no longer sure whether your old beliefs still apply today?   It is comfortable right now. Moreover, you are not willing to step out of your comfort zone, because that may change who you are.  But you are not your beliefs. You are the person who chooses your beliefs. Your comfortable life may be imprisoning you.  Test to see if you…

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January 15, 2021

Change

Thirst or enjoyment?

One glass of water doesn't equal another. One may just appease the thirst, the other you may enjoy  thoroughly. (Jim Sander) No two things that look exactly alike, will give the same level of satisfaction for two different people.  It depends on what each is meant for.   Similarly, no two person is the same in terms of how we respond to life, even if both are given similar opportunities. The choice is up to us.  We can go through life just merely surviving every encounter, yet never satisfied, or we can relish every challenge and face each with courage and determination, as we look for learning opportunities. So don't compare yourself with others. Don't make assumptions about people or outcomes. Everyone makes their own choices based on their own expectations.  My mum used to tell me that in life, you must stand by whatever choices you make.  But if…

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January 13, 2021

Change

Shaping lives or minds?

When you study great teachers... you will learn much more from their caring and hard work than from their style.  (William Glasser) Shaping lives rather than minds is the true calling of teachers. With keen eyes, you spot the tough kids who hide broken souls. You've been given a life to write with your red pen. Encourage rather than criticize, restore rather than tear down.  I recalled a time before I started going to school, I used to envy my sister, who was two years older than I was. As the school bus picked her up from our home and began departing, I'd look longingly as it disappeared around the street corner. When she got new school text books, I would rush to feel and smell them, looking forward  to the day I could start attending school.That day soon came, but I started disliking school. I became filled with lots…

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January 11, 2021

Change

Talking or listening?

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.(Mark Twain) You don't think anyone is listening. Everyone has an opinion but no one wants to listen. You are drowned out by the voices around you. Are you being heard? You're losing your voice or are you losing your identity? Should you use a megaphone? Is anybody out there just like me?  Fear, you cannot grip me. I don't have to let fear overcome me. Fear - you have no right to be here.  Just because I am silent doesn't mean I have no opinion or I am stupid.  I still have my voice, but I can choose when I speak or listen.  But what do I really want to say?  I've been rehearsing in my head each time but when it comes my turn to speak, my mind goes blank. What do…

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January 2, 2021

Change / Thrift

An Hour of play, a year in conversation…

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.Plato  What do you like to do when you see a game being played? Some people participate, while others observe. In a game, players play mostly to win, but you can also learn about their character from how they play the game.  What I know about playing even a simple board game, is that it is easier to point out what's wrong with another player's moves than ours. Usually you think for someone to win, someone else must lose, because it is based on the zero-sum game. But all parties can win too, if we go with an attitude of not trying to beat each other, but to find the best solution for all so that we can build team work and relationships.As early as the 1700s, economists and scientists have tried to analyze the behavior…

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December 31, 2020

Change

Stand out and shine…

Be uniquely you. Stand out. Shine. Be colourful. (Amy Leigh Mercree) You can't seem to shake off the feeling that every eye is on you and your full-blown figure. Yet from your corner of the room, you seem to have a hundred eyes like a pineapple, able to spy every going on in the room.  But that makes you more fearful. They make you want to cower in your corner. Breathe, don't panic.  Don't run away.You sometimes wonder if you're driven into a corner by people or do you choose to hide in corners. Don't let fear overcome you. Stand tall, wear your crown proudly. You're unique, don't be afraid to be different. Different is not ugly. Different is not bad. You have hidden goodness in you like the sweetness in the pineapple! The pineapple plant takes one year to produce one fruit and two years to ripen.  It cannot be…

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December 30, 2020

Change

Together, treasure it!

Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together.  No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people eat together.   (Guy Fieri) Are you hungry for more than food? Is your heart aching with the emptiness that food cannot fill?  Are you lonely or all alone, especially with the Covid-19 situation. As much as you would like to, you're not with family or loved ones during this time. You feel the loss because eating together is not just about satisfying your hunger, but about sharing your warmth with each other, filling each other's emptiness and consoling one another. But there are other people who may need an authentic friend. Can you be there for them?  They're probably waiting to meet sincere people, people who don't wear fake masks. Take it off - the mask that keeps you from feeling vulnerable, that's been camouflaging…

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December 29, 2020

Change

Stumbling or building blocks?

Life is going to throw you some blocks. You will decide if they are going to be your stumbling blocks or your building blocks.  Saji Ijiyemi When you're going through tough times, it is difficult to feel that life is going to get better. You'll wonder why bad things always happen to you. Life doesn't seem fair. You remembered a time when you were happy, but that seemed so long ago. Now you can't even recall when it all started to go wrong. Remember, your past doesn't define who you are.  It's your choice whether you pick yourself up and start on a right track now, or continue with your bad choices. It is not easy to stay on the path of what's right, especially if you have a troubled past. Even then there are others who have tried and have made it.  They're just like you. It starts with…

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December 16, 2020

Change

Next train?

The train you have been waiting all your life may not stop at your station; the best thing ... is to give a chance to the next train.(Mehmet Murat ildan) Rejected! How can you be passed over again? You've worked so hard! It should be your turn. How can this be? Promotions, even wishes don't seem to come by your way, no matter how hard you try. It is difficult to accept it right now, but believe me, something better may just be right around the corner.  If you're at a bus interchange or train station, other busses or trains are bound to come by.  They may not be what you're waiting for right now, but if you wait patiently, your choice may change because circumstances always change or the routes of these busses or trains will change.  The one you're looking for, will come by soon. More importantly, take your waiting time to…

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December 12, 2020

Change

Think before you speak…

Think before you speak and you may avoid a banana slip.  (Anna G.) Sometimes, we speak before we've thought through what we want to say, believing that everyone will understand where we're coming from.  Unthinking words can hurt.  Once said out loud, you cannot take it back.  When relationships between you and others are fine, you can get away with most things but when they are strained, words can worsen the cracks that will later be  difficult to fix. Once in an interview, the late Statesman of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, was asked about the banned sales of chewing gum in Singapore.  He answered very glibly, " If one can't think because he can't chew, get a banana!" I think it is important that we try not to find excuses for our slips or mistakes.  It is very easy to jump on this bandwagon of not taking ownership of…

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November 14, 2020

Change

Isn’t it funny when you look back…

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.   C.S. Lewis So you're stuck in a rut? Your life is predictable, mundane and even boring?  Or perhaps your life has been one difficult day after another, and you think it's just not worth living? Stop thinking that nothing has changed! Take a real look behind you and how far you have come. If you have been blinded by your negative experiences, here's a reminder that the past does not define who you are right now especially your failures. Don't be paralysed by these mistakes.   We grow from them.   If you're stuck and cannot get out of the rut, reach out to others.  You may ask help for yourself or  perhaps there are others who may need your help.  When you focus less on yourself, you'll be able to see others' needs better.…

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November 4, 2020

Change

Dated or Retro?

Yesterday's tools may not work for today's task but some tasks may only work with yesterday's tools.    (Anna G) Old doesn't mean dated or useless.  So you just can't shake off the feeling that you're old; life has passed you by & you have nothing left but a broken heart. It doesn't matter if you are 16 or even 60 years old. What matters is that you feel empty; you feel spent and you're too tired to give life another try. You wonder what's the point of living when your life is filled with so many pot holes? You believe you have outlived your usefulness and there is no place in this world for you now. That's self-defeating and self-destructive thinking. Call it out! Get rid of it! Life is only a dread if you believe this lie! Fear be gone! Don't be defined by what people think or expect of…

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November 3, 2020