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Read more about the article Safe but stuck?

Safe but stuck?

The greatest things in life tend to happen outside our comfort zones, and doubting your ability to step outside of your comfort zone will keep you stuck. (Amy Morin) You've played it safe but you're stuck. Maybe there is something out there that is better, but you're not prepared to risk it. You're filled with doubts about your ability to cope, should you step out of your comfort zone. What about the next generation? They're different and bound to have different aspirations. Do you want them to walk this same path as you, when you're no longer sure whether your old beliefs still apply today? It is comfortable right now. Moreover, you are not willing to step out of your comfort zone, because that may change who you are. But you are not your beliefs. You are the person who chooses your beliefs. Your comfortable life may be imprisoning you. Test to see if you…

January 15, 2021

Read more about the article Thirst or enjoyment?

Thirst or enjoyment?

One glass of water doesn't equal another. One may just appease the thirst, the other you may enjoy thoroughly. (Jim Sander) No two things that look exactly alike, will give the same level of satisfaction for two different people. It depends on what each is meant for. Similarly, no two person is the same in terms of how we respond to life, even if both are given similar opportunities. The choice is up to us. We can go through life just merely surviving every encounter, yet never satisfied, or we can relish every challenge and face each with courage and determination, as we look for learning opportunities. So don't compare yourself with others. Don't make assumptions about people or outcomes. Everyone makes their own choices based on their own expectations. My mum used to tell me that in life, you must stand by whatever choices you make. But if…

January 13, 2021

Read more about the article Shaping lives or minds?

Shaping lives or minds?

When you study great teachers... you will learn much more from their caring and hard work than from their style. (William Glasser) Shaping lives rather than minds is the true calling of teachers. With keen eyes, you spot the tough kids who hide broken souls. You've been given a life to write with your red pen. Encourage rather than criticize, restore rather than tear down. I recalled a time before I started going to school, I used to envy my sister, who was two years older than I was. As the school bus picked her up from our home and began departing, I'd look longingly as it disappeared around the street corner. When she got new school text books, I would rush to feel and smell them, looking forward to the day I could start attending school.That day soon came, but I started disliking school. I became filled with lots…

January 11, 2021

Read more about the article Talking or listening?

Talking or listening?

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.(Mark Twain) You don't think anyone is listening. Everyone has an opinion but no one wants to listen. You are drowned out by the voices around you. Are you being heard? You're losing your voice or are you losing your identity? Should you use a megaphone? Is anybody out there just like me? Fear, you cannot grip me. I don't have to let fear overcome me. Fear - you have no right to be here. Just because I am silent doesn't mean I have no opinion or I am stupid. I still have my voice, but I can choose when I speak or listen. But what do I really want to say? I've been rehearsing in my head each time but when it comes my turn to speak, my mind goes blank. What do…

January 2, 2021

Read more about the article An Hour of play, a year in conversation…

Change / Thrift

An Hour of play, a year in conversation…

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.Plato What do you like to do when you see a game being played? Some people participate, while others observe. In a game, players play mostly to win, but you can also learn about their character from how they play the game. What I know about playing even a simple board game, is that it is easier to point out what's wrong with another player's moves than ours. Usually you think for someone to win, someone else must lose, because it is based on the zero-sum game. But all parties can win too, if we go with an attitude of not trying to beat each other, but to find the best solution for all so that we can build team work and relationships.As early as the 1700s, economists and scientists have tried to analyze the behavior…

December 31, 2020

Read more about the article Stand out and shine…

Stand out and shine…

Be uniquely you. Stand out. Shine. Be colourful. (Amy Leigh Mercree) You can't seem to shake off the feeling that every eye is on you and your full-blown figure. Yet from your corner of the room, you seem to have a hundred eyes like a pineapple, able to spy every going on in the room. But that makes you more fearful. They make you want to cower in your corner. Breathe, don't panic. Don't run away.You sometimes wonder if you're driven into a corner by people or do you choose to hide in corners. Don't let fear overcome you. Stand tall, wear your crown proudly. You're unique, don't be afraid to be different. Different is not ugly. Different is not bad. You have hidden goodness in you like the sweetness in the pineapple! The pineapple plant takes one year to produce one fruit and two years to ripen. It cannot be…

December 30, 2020

Read more about the article Together, treasure it!

Together, treasure it!

Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together. No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people eat together. (Guy Fieri) Are you hungry for more than food? Is your heart aching with the emptiness that food cannot fill? Are you lonely or all alone, especially with the Covid-19 situation. As much as you would like to, you're not with family or loved ones during this time. You feel the loss because eating together is not just about satisfying your hunger, but about sharing your warmth with each other, filling each other's emptiness and consoling one another. But there are other people who may need an authentic friend. Can you be there for them? They're probably waiting to meet sincere people, people who don't wear fake masks. Take it off - the mask that keeps you from feeling vulnerable, that's been camouflaging…

December 29, 2020

Read more about the article Storm in a teacup…

Storm in a teacup…

It's just a storm in a teacup... (but) the cup of suffering is not the same size for everyone.(Paulo Coelho) When you're in a raging storm, it seems as if the whole world is like a big ocean that is threatening to capsize your boat. You feel like all the ocean water is coming in. You can't seem to keep afloat any more. The sails are flapping and tearing. You're afraid that whatever you're holding on so tightly now, won't make it. That makes you want to hold on even tighter. However, in life, the tighter you hold on to something, the more you feel insecure about it. Like the sails in the boat, the tension must be right. If it is too tight, in a storm, the rope keeping the sails to the boat may snap. So letting out the rope a little will help to keep the boat afloat.…

December 26, 2020

Read more about the article Swift but paralysed…

Swift but paralysed…

Even the swiftest deer can be stopped by the headlights of a car. (Anna G.) Everyone has an Achilles' heel. Fear paralyses the best of us, even in the area that we are good at. We may run as swift as the deer but, when caught under the headlights of a car, we freeze. You've probably heard of the phrase, "deer caught in the headlights". Knowing this, we should remain humble. But more often than not, most of us are fearful. In fact, some people will go to great lengths to hide their weakness, because they think that when people find out about their weakness, they will be preyed upon. This kind of thinking is not surprising, especially if you work or live in a society that is highly competitive and rewards perfection and excellence. Fear is destructive and totally irrational. If you allow yourself to be bound by fear,…

December 24, 2020

Read more about the article Sitting and waiting…

Hope

Sitting and waiting…

Don't sit around waiting for someone who has taken a walk 'off' your life, to come back. (Unknown) "If only, if only I've done this or said this... I should have... I wish I did this...". These thoughts keep going round and round in your head. You waited and waited, hoping that the person will come back. You're so filled with fear... doubt? Wondering where that person is. Your heart is troubled. But seasons passed and time passes. Still no news... So does this mean no news is good news? You feel as if everyone who means something to you leaves you. You feel so ashamed. You feel as if the whole world walks away from you. No! Don't believe that! You're precious! Even if you don't feel it yet. Just don't get lock up in the hurtful past. Let it go, let the person go. Whatever the reason…

December 22, 2020

Read more about the article Stumbling or building blocks?

Stumbling or building blocks?

Life is going to throw you some blocks. You will decide if they are going to be your stumbling blocks or your building blocks. Saji Ijiyemi When you're going through tough times, it is difficult to feel that life is going to get better. You'll wonder why bad things always happen to you. Life doesn't seem fair. You remembered a time when you were happy, but that seemed so long ago. Now you can't even recall when it all started to go wrong. Remember, your past doesn't define who you are. It's your choice whether you pick yourself up and start on a right track now, or continue with your bad choices. It is not easy to stay on the path of what's right, especially if you have a troubled past. Even then there are others who have tried and have made it. They're just like you. It starts with…

December 16, 2020

Read more about the article Seeds of change.

Hope

Seeds of change.

Dreams are the seeds of change. Nothing ever grows without a seed and nothing ever changes without a dream. (Debby Boone) You don't believe in dreams. You can't afford to dream. You're too busy earning a living. You believe dreams are only good for those who can afford to take a break. Too old to dream? At 10 years old, you've seen it all. Nothing fazes you. Dreams belong to 'lala land' and they'll never come true for you, and you're not going to trust in dreams. It's precisely for all the above reasons that you have to keep on dreaming. Dream -because you're busy so that you don't lose focus on the important things in your life. Dream - because no one is too old to dream. For the young, it means you have not seen it yet. Dreams do come true but it may just take some time. Like the…

December 15, 2020

Read more about the article Next train?

Next train?

The train you have been waiting all your life may not stop at your station; the best thing ... is to give a chance to the next train.(Mehmet Murat ildan) Rejected! How can you be passed over again? You've worked so hard! It should be your turn. How can this be? Promotions, even wishes don't seem to come by your way, no matter how hard you try. It is difficult to accept it right now, but believe me, something better may just be right around the corner. If you're at a bus interchange or train station, other busses or trains are bound to come by. They may not be what you're waiting for right now, but if you wait patiently, your choice may change because circumstances always change or the routes of these busses or trains will change. The one you're looking for, will come by soon. More importantly, take your waiting time to…

December 12, 2020

Read more about the article Hidden to shine…

Hope

Hidden to shine…

Beautiful gems can emerge from dirt. Struggle can teach you self-discipline and resilience.(Dipa Sanatani) How many times have we found ourselves ignored or rejected as if we don't matter or exist? Too many to keep count? You're not alone. Many of us at one point of our life or other, would have experienced this. Sometimes, we try our best yet we don't seem to be appreciated. Give in and give up?There is always hope even in hopeless situations. We don't always see or know everything. We may be in a very dark place right now and cannot see any hope in it. Perhaps you're just being trained for something far greater than you can ever imagine. You've been under the radar, so that away from the limelight, you can take your time to develop and mature through the trials you've been experiencing. Otherwise you'll be even more stressed, having to cope…

December 10, 2020

Read more about the article Never give up your dreams!

Hope

Never give up your dreams!

Never give up what you want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts. (Albert Einstein) What do you water your dreams with? Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success... Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream. (Lao Tzu) Day dreaming again! Stop wasting your time! Dreams won't feed you. Come down to reality. Have you heard these words said to you, too often for you to be comfortable or comforted by it. You feel you just don't measure up. You are filled with doubts. You feel that dreams are an indulgence you cannot afford. Your life is choked with worries and you have so many…

November 30, 2020

Read more about the article Think before you speak…

Think before you speak…

Think before you speak and you may avoid a banana slip. (Anna G.) Sometimes, we speak before we've thought through what we want to say, believing that everyone will understand where we're coming from. Unthinking words can hurt. Once said out loud, you cannot take it back. When relationships between you and others are fine, you can get away with most things but when they are strained, words can worsen the cracks that will later be difficult to fix. Once in an interview, the late Statesman of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, was asked about the banned sales of chewing gum in Singapore. He answered very glibly, " If one can't think because he can't chew, get a banana!" I think it is important that we try not to find excuses for our slips or mistakes. It is very easy to jump on this bandwagon of not taking ownership of…

November 14, 2020

Read more about the article A gilded cage at what cost?

A gilded cage at what cost?

We are not rich by what we possess but by what we can do without. (Immanuel Kant) Mindless pursuit of possessions will likely consume you and leave you with no room for what truly matters. The very thing you pursue may drown and entomb you. Would that be worth it? We have to watch what we are preoccupied with, with what takes up most of our time and resources. Are we so engrossed with chasing after material possessions that we leave little time to enjoy them? Some may consider accumulating branded items as legitimate reasons. But don't they leave you feeling as if you need to keep adding to your already mile-high stash of hardly worn bags, clothes or whatever takes your fancy. Don't they leave you on a high only for a very short time, just like taking drugs or smoking does? They're all addictions. Be careful! You…

November 12, 2020

Read more about the article Enough or more than enough?

Enough or more than enough?

If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough. (Oprah Winfrey) Do you feel like your cup is always half-empty? Are you the kind of person that somehow seems to get less when anything is distributed? For some reason you always get the short end of the stick; Your cup never fills up, much less overflow. So you thought maybe if you worked a little harder, if you tried a lot more... Surely you'll get to the top of the pile. You work yourself to the bone, driven to do more and more, but instead there's no difference or worse, even less effect. Your cup dries up even faster than before. All this effort leaves you feeling drained, hopeless and discouraged. You believe if you work hard, be disciplined & strive…

November 7, 2020

Read more about the article Isn’t it funny when you look back…

Isn’t it funny when you look back…

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. C.S. Lewis So you're stuck in a rut? Your life is predictable, mundane and even boring? Or perhaps your life has been one difficult day after another, and you think it's just not worth living? Stop thinking that nothing has changed! Take a real look behind you and how far you have come. If you have been blinded by your negative experiences, here's a reminder that the past does not define who you are right now especially your failures. Don't be paralysed by these mistakes. We grow from them. If you're stuck and cannot get out of the rut, reach out to others. You may ask help for yourself or perhaps there are others who may need your help. When you focus less on yourself, you'll be able to see others' needs better.…

November 4, 2020

Read more about the article Dated or Retro?

Dated or Retro?

Yesterday's tools may not work for today's task but some tasks may only work with yesterday's tools. (Anna G) Old doesn't mean dated or useless. So you just can't shake off the feeling that you're old; life has passed you by & you have nothing left but a broken heart. It doesn't matter if you are 16 or even 60 years old. What matters is that you feel empty; you feel spent and you're too tired to give life another try. You wonder what's the point of living when your life is filled with so many pot holes? You believe you have outlived your usefulness and there is no place in this world for you now. That's self-defeating and self-destructive thinking. Call it out! Get rid of it! Life is only a dread if you believe this lie! Fear be gone! Don't be defined by what people think or expect of…

November 3, 2020

Read more about the article Bruised to be used …

Bruised to be used …

Some people are worth melting for. (Olaf, from "Frozen") Have you been hurt or used? Even if it was for good, you still feel raw. Take heart, there are some people who are indeed worth "bruising" for. Yes, our hurts can serve a purpose, helping someone or even ourselves to grow. The truth is you cannot grow up without experiencing hurts or wounds, either physically, emotionally or even mentally. Such is life. While it hurts to be used, and we often cannot see beyond our pain at that time, but like the garlic, we know that if it is not crushed, it will not be able to release the goodness within it to flavor a dish. Similarly, we sometimes have to go through trials to unearth the compassion that is buried within us. By enduring a trial, we learn to empathize or even sympathize with others, as we better identify with…

November 2, 2020

Read more about the article Accept your flaws …

Accept your flaws …

Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. (George R.R. Martin) I sometimes think we give too much credibility to our fears. To the extent that they become even bigger than our 'reality'. We have given our fears too much permission to affect who we think we are. It is not even about what people think about us; It is about what we choose to believe about ourselves, deep down inside of us. It affects us to the extent that we either do the opposite of what we think people are expecting of us, or we totally comply with what we think people want us to do. Either way does not leave us feeling happy or anywhere satisfied. Instead we feel an emptiness that refuses to leave, because we are trapped by our fears.But fear will NOT have the last word! Our flaws make us…

November 1, 2020