Blog

Acceptance / Change / Courage

Journaling your life’s stories

We can only open our hearts to those we utterly trust, such as the accepting page. (Gille Bolton) With the arrival of the new year, what  reflections do you have on the year that has just passed? Do you like most people, wish that you could have had more, done more or said more? Why don't you instead say "I have enough?" So what do I mean? I'm talking about learning to be content. Now, I'm not talking about accepting your lot in life in a fatalistic 'what will be will be, will be' way, but rather having a self-assured and confident, "I've enough" kind of mindset.  And the best way to reflect on the past year is through journaling. As you leaf through what you have written, you will notice that there were moments of  uplifting and happy, interwoven with the discouraging and sad. So life is not all bad, but neither is…

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January 21, 2022

Courage / Healing / Hope

Delight in each moment of your life…

Each moment is just what it is.  It might be the only moment of our life; it might be the only strawberry we'll ever eat.  We could get depressed about it, or we could finally appreciate it and delight in the preciousness of every single moment of our life.  (Pema Chodron)   It's the small things that can sometimes make the greatest impact!  The fleeting moments can become a beautiful memory. Life can be as simple as eating the first strawberry you find or as complicated as trying to find one to eat.  Whichever leads to happiness, enjoy the process and remember it.  Don't overthink or oversimplify it.  Happiness is within your grasp if you learn to enjoy the moments you have right now - not those you've left behind or even those that have yet to happen.  Be present.  Enjoy the now!The strange co-relation between living and time is that when…

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December 7, 2021

Courage / Hope

No medicine like Hope!

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.(Orison Sweet Marden)  What is the purpose for our lives?  Oftentimes when we hit a roadblock in our life or are at a crossroad, we either give up or carry on.  Whichever course of action we take often depends on how much hope we have.Hope is a choice.  It is not something you can see or at times even feel.  Your hope can come from what you've experienced before or based on what others have gone through. However you choose to see it, ultimately you're the only one who can make that choice - to believe that hope exists no matter what situation or circumstances you find yourself in.Hope keeps you going even when you no longer believe that the situation can be salvaged.  Hope becomes that beacon of light in…

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October 18, 2021

Change / Thrift

Broken to be shared…

My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat.(Leo Tolstoy) Wouldn't it be an amazing world if everyone lived to look out for one another?  I believe this is not wishful thinking but is a behavior that can be learnt. This is because sharing is not dependent on how much you have, but on how willing you are to give. We can all learn to share what we have, even when what we have isn't much.  You see, we don't need to have a lot, before we can make a decision to share what we have with others.  In fact, if we don't start sharing when we don't have much, it becomes a lot  harder to share when we have plenty left over. And that's the strange irony of human behavior.   For some people, however, sharing…

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September 19, 2021

Courage / Healing

Silently hurting

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.  (C.S. Lewis) What is hurting you so badly that you can't even talk about it?Has that happened to you before?   Most of us would have encountered at one time or another, some hurtful issues that have wounded us so deeply that we find it difficult to talk about.  We have suppressed them, hoping that 'out of sight, is out of mind'.  Unfortunately, they seldom lie quietly hidden.It is also not uncommon to hear of stories of people suddenly facing some deep emotional breakdown when they get older in age.  Most of these issues can be traced back to childhood wounds that were suppressed but re-surfaced later in life.  Childhood wounds run very deep. What's worse, most of these child-victims don't even understand why they had suffered at the hands of…

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August 26, 2021

Courage / Hope

Light in the storm

 It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light!(Aristotle)   When we're in a storm it is hard to believe that it will pass. But just as the sun rises from the east, the truth is that the storm will end! So focus on not being overcome  by the storm. Everyone experiences adverse situations in their life. There is no exceptions to the rule. These stormy situations are often completely out of your control.  Be brave, face it head-on if possible.  If not, wait.  Take a breather.  If you believe in God, focus on Him rather than the circumstances. Circumstances change with time.  Sometimes issues resolve by itself. Breathe.  Do some physical activity to help clear your mind.  It is okay to take a break and wait out the storm. Keep your peace of mind. Listen to soothing music.  Relax. Make a craft, cook, do anything to…

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August 8, 2021

Change / Courage / Hope

It’s familiar, is it safe?

Sometimes, it takes more courage to keep moving forward even away from what's familiar.  (Anna G.) Are you clinging onto something familiar? Do you believe that it's better to be safe than sorry? Is the familiar always safer? You're scared, so filled with fear and doubt. You look around desperately for something familiar to cling onto. Even if it is an abusive relationship, where what's good in it is long past. Are you looking for a way out? Sometimes it's found in the way forward.  So don't keep looking back.  While whatever is ahead may be uncertain and feel unfamiliar, but as long as you are still alive, there is hope. Don't give up!Have you discovered the purpose you're here on earth for?  You never really know what you are truly capable of. That's why, all the more, you need to take the time to look for the answer.  That's what you do when you're playing a…

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July 28, 2021

Change / Courage

What’s on the other side of fear?

Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. (George Adain) Why do you allow fear to rob you of even trying?  Don't let a wrong belief of something or someone hold you down.  Sometimes we give so much permission to our fears that they become bigger than our reality.  Even if the truth is staring us in our face, fear tells us otherwise. Even if what what we fear most, didn't actually happen, we are still riddled with anxiety and there is no peace. Even if someone else tells us that what we fear is not going to happen, we don't believe them and we allow ourselves to fear the worst.  It's like we are anticipating the worst to prove that we're right.That's Fear. That's not Truth.You see, it takes courage to be vulnerable and to try again. And it takes more courage to rid ourselves of our…

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July 17, 2021

Acceptance / Courage / Healing / Uncategorized

Be kind and the rainbow follows you.

Don't seek to be happy; let everyone else chase after that rainbow. Seek to be kind and you'll find the rainbow follows you. (Richelle E. Goodrich) Definition of Kindness:The quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.  Affection, gentleness, warmth, concern and care are words that are associated with kindness.  "You think kindness doesn't pay.   You believe that you will be taken advantage of if you're kind."  That's a lie the devil wants you to believe.  You see, kindness produces kindness.  Now you may not immediately see the good that is produced by your kindness, but you'll definitely hear about it one day.  For a good deed will kickstart other good deeds that will come a full-circle back to you.  If you sow good deeds, you will reap goodness.  Kindness can truly bring you happiness.  It takes more courage and strength to be kind.  Kindness is a language which the deaf…

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July 9, 2021

Acceptance / Courage / Hope

Made different… to make a difference!

  If everybody were like everybody else, how boring it would be.  The things that make me different are the things that make me Me!     (Piglet with Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh) "Fear has no hold on me! I'm not going to let fear silence me. I tell myself it doesn't matter if I'm different."   Why do we allow ourselves to fear what others think of us? You see, everyone has a heart beat. Indeed we are more alike than we are different.  Are they really as fearful as we think they are? The only thing that really matters is our attitude.  Not only our attitude towards others but also our attitude towards ourselves.Why cower in fear or turn away in shame? Just because you're different from other people does not make you any less precious.  We can make a difference for ourselves and others when we face our fears, whatever that may be. Don't turn…

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June 10, 2021

Acceptance / Change / Courage / Hope

Whose shoes are you wearing?

When you spend all your time imagining yourself in other people's shoes, your own story goes unwritten, and there is nothing more painful than that. (Amanda Lovelace) Don't you sometimes wish you were someone else? Especially when you see the lifestyles of the rich and famous flaunting their wealth, or undeserving people getting away with 'murder' Unbelievable! How is it that we live in the same world?  It shouldn't matter! Everyone, even the rich and famous, struggle with challenges and anxieties. Everyone on earth has a burden he or she is carrying.  If you can actually read the mind of these people, you may even think you're better off being yourself.   What we see on the external, does not tell the whole story.  So don't desire to be in the shoes of others!  You never know what is seething beneath the veneer of "all's fine and great".  They may need…

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May 31, 2021

Change / Courage

Slow down…to go fast!

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress. (Viggo Mortensen) Life is unexpected isn't it?  It is already year 2021.  It's been more than a year since the COVID-19 pandemic appeared in the world in December 2019.  Covid-19 caused the whole world to standstill in 2020. Worse, it didn't go away as fast as everyone expected. & now the new normal is far from normal.   Pre-COVID activities such as walking, shopping and meeting up with friends look very different these days, because of the many restrictions imposed. In many countries,  wearing a mask is mandatory outside of…

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May 19, 2021

Healing / Hope

What really counts?

What counts can't always be counted, what can be counted doesn't always count.   ( Albert Einstein) What really counts? Money, time or relationships? Have you been chasing after what can be counted but really doesn't matter at the end of the day? The latest fads, brands, material possessions. Or even just pursuing your work.  All for the sake of the people you love?  Think again, if you're not guilty of this, perhaps someone you know is preoccupied with what doesn't really count?Time passes whether you use it wisely or not. Money? Never enough of it, right? But how much is enough? If you have the right attitude towards work, there will be opportunities that will come your way as long as you don't give up.  Relationships? Family or even friends, do they matter? Have you made that call? What you don't spend time nurturing, will grow cold. Have you taken…

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May 6, 2021

Courage / Hope

Behind the cloud…

Behind the cloud, the sun is still shining.    (Abraham LIncoln) Today's clouds may look heavy, tomorrow you may have a good day, but who can tell which cloud contains the rain. Just by looking at the clouds, we can oftentimes tell what the weather is going to be like.  If we see advancing dark clouds, we can expect a heavy downpour on its way.  When we see the sun shining, we will not think to carry an umbrella.  Even then, the weather can change suddenly.  The heavy clouds may be hiding the shining sun or the clouds in a bright shining day may camouflage an oncoming storm.  The weather conditions can change in a day or in some places, several times a day.Likewise, when you are facing challenging circumstances, you really can't tell if the worst is over or if the challenges have just begun. But how you respond to these…

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April 14, 2021

Hope

Why? Why was I born?

The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.  (Mark Twain) Why, why, why was I born? You may be asking yourself this question, especially if you are struggling, feeling unwanted or even questioning your existence? Have you ever wondered why you're here on earth at wherever place you are, or even why this particular time in history? According to Mark Twain, the two most important days of our lives are the day you were born and the day you find out why.  We all know the day we were born, that is, someone must have informed us or it is captured on an official document. The fortunate ones, enjoy birthday celebrations from their first year till present. The slightly fortunate ones, get their birthdays celebrated throughout their childhood or at least until their teen years.  The less fortunate, perhaps…

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April 9, 2021

Healing / Hope

Shattered but restored…

I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.     ( Anne Frank ) It's difficult.  When you're hurting, it is hard to see beyond what you're feeling right now.  Your emotions are so raw that you think you cannot ever feel again.  It's like your heart and mind have exploded into a thousand pieces and you're not sure that they'll ever be whole again.  You've shed so many tears that you don't think you've any more left in your well.This reminds me of the nursery rhyme, "Humpty Dumpty". Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and even the king's men couldn't put him back together again. As you know, Humpty Dumpty is an egg.  And when a raw egg is cracked or broken, there is no way to glue it back together again.But we're not Humpty Dumptys.  We are stronger than we think we are.…

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March 19, 2021

Change / Courage / Healing

Broken?

You will not heal by going back to what broke you.                          (Unknown) When you're feeling broken, you tend to retreat to the familiar; the people, places and  routines that define you. But that's not necessarily the best thing for you. Your world has collapsed, you're hurting and can't figure out how to get out of the mess you're in. You feel like you don't matter. That's not true! Don't give in to these toxic emotions. Your life is not defined by the people who hurt you, or by the harmful situations you find yourself in.Get out of these negative patterns of behavior. Take the first step by acknowledging that the things that are happening to you are not good for you.  Then reflect and try to figure out why does it keep happening to you; Whether it's a slip up at…

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March 14, 2021

Change / Courage

Fight or flight?

Its first instinct when feeling threatened is to place nails at its feet.(Anna G) I'm not afraid... but... but I'm afraid. I shouldn't have left the cage. What am I going to do? I'm feeling very vulnerable right now. Let's get some protection.  Nails... I saw nails... that will do. But I must not step on them. I won't or I'll end up getting hurt.Or, I'm sick of being stepped on. I've had enough! I'm going to protect myself from now on.Is this the kind of self-talk that goes on in your mind when you have been at the receiving end of repeated betrayal, backstabbing and bullying?  You want to fight back but you're also afraid of the consequences. So you try to retaliate.  But your weapon of choice, in this case, is a bed of nails.  It can hurt an oncoming predator but it can also hurt You!This is…

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March 9, 2021

Courage

Taking off!

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.(Henry Ford) Are you feeling drained? Do you feel like the whole world is conspiring against you? Say it out loud. Shout it, "I'm not defeated!" Challenges strengthen you if you don't give up. Deal with the critical things. Don't let the urgent issues cause you to take your eyes off what really matters.  You'll get there. You're not alone. Press on! Great things don't happen overnight. Crossing difficult terrain is part and parcel of growing up.  You're the one who chooses what breaks you. What cannot break you will build you up.  Don't give in so easily, especially when you know you're on to something that's worthwhile. Take a break. Pause. Reflect. Take stock. Lend a helping hand to someone. That may take your mind off your immediate issue and you'll see better from…

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March 4, 2021

Change / Courage

Pressed to be perfect…

Pressure from an iron can remove creases but pressure on a person can break or build character. (Anna G.) You feel pressured, pushed, you can't even breathe. What's happening? There is a lot of pressure to be like everyone else but you don't want to be like everyone else, you just want to be YOU. Can't you? Why do you feel like this pressure is killing you? Why can others handle this pressure but why are you struggling so much? Should  you just end it? NO! Remember, who You Are is not tied to what you can achieve. Our inner man wants to be known.  Our identity knows that we are born to be significant. There is a reason for our existence.  Your identity is separate from looking or being perfect. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do well.  But being perfect should never be your goal. No one is perfect and can…

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February 24, 2021

Change

What’s Real?

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours and furniture polish is made from real lemons.     (Alfred E. Newman) Is this real? A world where humans eat fake food and real food is given to pets or used as polish? What do you value? Are you scared? Fearful? Suspicious of others? Is there no one who is sincere? Is everyone fake?  It just breaks you inside. You don't think you have any strength to resist. Who can you believe? Pretending everyday that everything is alright when it's not, leaves you confused and doubtful of who you are. Like the lemon flavor, you're only left with a trail of sour and bitter encounters. You're broken inside and the pain seems never-ending.  Have you been wrong, everyone is wearing these masks that hide their true feelings. What should you believe?  Don't give up on yourself. Like…

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February 20, 2021

Hope

The oak sleeps in the acorn…

The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg,... Dreams are the seedlings of realities.    ( James Allen) Have your dreams like acorns fallen on the way side, all forgotten?  They were never able to spread their wings because they're entangled in life's challenges. You've been told that you can't make it because you're too old, too young, stupid or even too ugly.  Reject that! Don't believe that lie. Each of us, at one time or another, would have harbored a dream, even nurtured it.   But your dreams got mixed up with your fears and worries. You must have thought dreams are best enjoyed while sleeping.  Because no one told you, you have to fulfill them right? They're just supposed to take flight on their own?Added to this, you allow the fear of failure to steal your dream. Failure if learnt, can become the mother of success.  Your…

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February 14, 2021

Change

Putting down others or yourself?

There is something called the Tall Poppy Syndrome; people like to cut the tall poppies. They don't want you to succeed and they cut you down - especially people from your own social class.Mark Burnett "Life is unfair!  She only made it because someone had her back." Yes, you feel shortchanged sometimes, because when you compare your efforts with others, you come up short, especially when it comes to receiving recognition.  Resentment then builds up over time against the person, your bosses, the person in authority or even the organization itself.  Whether it is a fact or the truth, it does not matter. Giving in to such thoughts is the key issue. Don't follow this line of reasoning; It doesn't bode well nor reflect well on you. If you share it with someone, it is even worse.  Now you're gossiping. How will that help you? Being a "wet blanket" or "cutting down tall poppies"…

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February 1, 2021

Change

Knock, knock… has it finally opened?

In life sometimes ... you have to close some doors to have others open.     (Gene Ween) Knock, knock, who's there? Bee. Bee who? Bee waiting for the door to open.  Do you feel there are some doors in your life you have waited for a lifetime to open? Perhaps you have been too busy trying to get that door opened, rather than checking if there are doors in your life that ought to be closed so that you can prepare yourself for when this door you've been waiting for to finally open. Doors that should be shut can be habits that are bad for your physical, mental or emotional health. You have the choice over these unhealthy habits. It's a vicious cycle and you think you cannot shut that door.  That's a lie. You can get out of these habits if you value your life more than keeping these…

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January 29, 2021

Acceptance

Everybody is a genius…

Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.    (Albert Einstein) Stand up... Keep smiling... Keep telling yourself and the world that,"You're fine, you're good...."   But You're NOT!" You're in pain and you're all broken up inside...You've been trying to hold it all together, as the song, Truth be Told by Matthew West goes. Don't believe the lie that you're too big, too stupid or too ugly. You're not a tree or an anchovy. You don't have to hide in order to blend in.  You're unique, beautiful and majestic! You're not a carbon copy of someone else's expectations of you. Your strength, your size or your quirk is nothing to be ashamed of. Honesty is what you really need right now. So admit it with pride,"I'm a whale!". Be happy! I have always…

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January 27, 2021

Hope / Thrift

Making a living or life?

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.   (Winston Churchill) What's your attitude toward money? Not many of us can say we have more than enough money. Money can bless or money can severe relationships and destroy families. It's a topic some would rather not talk about it at all.  But cultivating a habit of giving is about choosing to adopt an attitude of caring and looking out for others.  It doesn't necessarily require you to give money all the time. Otherwise we would all think that giving is reserved for those who have more to spare.  That would rob us of the joy that only those who give to others can experience.  Giving can be about gratitude as well. We give because others before us have done so. It can be about perpetuating a good deed.  I know that…

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January 25, 2021

Change

Success is like a wild horse…

Success is like a wild horse.  If you do not know how to handle it, it will throw you off and look for another rider who can handle it well.    Ajith Kumar Yes, I can do it, yes, I can... no I can't! Why can't I? If they can, I can.I'm sure you must have had these thoughts going through your head before. You keep telling yourself you can achieve; "I can, I can, I can", and you sound almost like a 'choo-choo' train.  But the truth is  you can't brainwash yourself into being a success, no matter what successful gurus tell you.This is because merely thinking about success doesn't bring success. Rather you need to take action; you have to do something about it. Determination plays a large part in being successful. But you're not going to get there by just desiring.  You have to truly decide what it is you really want.…

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January 23, 2021

Forgiveness

Free…at last!

Being forgiven is like having all the worst bits of yourself stuffed into a balloon and then having that balloon set free.    (Shannon Wiersbitzby) Free at last! Oh what a beautiful day, you feel like singing.  What a liberating feeling. You feel lighter, the weight of heaviness you've been carrying for a long time, is no longer there. You feel like you can float like the balloon. You've forgotten you had shoulders, they had felt like sacks of flour that you've been lugging around for so long.   Your need to take revenge or retaliate  is just as burdensome a load.  Of course it is easier to talk about forgiveness when you're not the one doing the forgiving. Nevertheless, forgiving someone is also setting yourself free from the pain and hurt you've been carrying.  The heaviness feels like huge boulders placed on each shoulder that has grown over time from…

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January 21, 2021

Change

Trap or shelter?

The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be captive of the environment in which you find yourself.     (Mark Caine) Trapped! I can't breathe, oh no there's no way out! Or phew, I finally feel safe!  Two very different reactions to the same situation. Your perception does not need to determine how you respond to your environment. To some, a shelter feels claustrophobic, while to someone else, it's a haven from danger. How you see your situation will reveal your state of mind. Keep calm. Don't panic. Otherwise you're the one who is confining yourself, whether you want to or not. The environment you find yourself doesn't predict your success or failure. Fear is the main culprit that makes one feel trapped and compels another to confine themselves.    How much you give in to fear and allow yourself to be swayed by how you see…

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January 19, 2021

Change

60 Minutes to an Hour, well-used or lost?

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minute an hour. Whatever he does, whoever he is. (C.S. Lewis) The future is just a second ahead of the present, and the past is just the second that has passed. This truth is universal for every person. And 2020 really proved this quote by C.S. Lewis, as the world was caught totally by surprise by the pandemic. Fear gripped every sector of society because we have never experienced anything like this before.  Some who ignored the safety precautions paid with their lives. Young or old, everyone faced to the same threat. Everyone was vulnerable to the Covid-19 virus.As the world went into lockdown, the feeling of 'reality being stranger than fiction' came to mind. We've watched countless movies where newscasters would report about some disaster that was going to inflict the world. But what is happening with Covid 19 is…

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January 17, 2021